Say WHAT?!

Yes. You read that right. We are in the process of adoption.

Are we crazy? no.

Are we sure? yes.

What are we thinking? We aren't... we're just listening.

When I was growing up, I always knew that with adoption being such a major part of my life that it was something that I would do as an adult. It came as such a huge shock to me when George and I got married that he wasn't interested in adoption at all. I mean... AT ALL.

It wasn't because he's cold hearted. He's not. He just wasn't raised the same way that I was. For me, adoption was a part of me - a HUGE blessing in my life. For George, it was something that had never even crossed his mind. To say that I was crushed is an understatement - not adopting was just something that had never crossed my mind. It was in my plans even more than having biological children.

So - for years my prayer was for the Lord to change his heart. To put it in his face. To open his eyes.

I didn't try to push it. I didn't try to press the issue. Honestly, b/c there was hurt there & I didn't want to talk about it.

But y'all -- the Lord is FAITHFUL! In his TIME! He IS. He really, truly is!

One day - literally - out of nowhere..

We went to Cape San Blas where some of our dearest friends were vacationing so I could take their oldest daughter's senior pictures. While we were off shooting in Apalachicola, George spent the day on the beach with Marc and their other three kids. Marc & Amy adopted 3 children & then had one biological child. They are approximately 18, 15, 11 & 5. All are girls, except the 15 year old. Spending that day on the beach with Marc and his kids changed George. When we got in the van that night to come home, he said that he wanted more kids and that he wanted to adopt --- that seeing that Marc could love all of his children the same showed him that he could do that too. My immediate prayer was thank you!! Thank you LORD!!

After that - I think the Lord put it in our face almost daily. In television shows, through friends deciding to adopt, movies, meeting other adopted people --- it was everywhere. We have a very dear friend that is a social worker here in our town. Pretty regularly, she would mention children in the system's care that need homes... foster & adoption homes. I mean, seriously --- there was NO DOUBT to me that the Lord was saying "THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO!"

The next series of events only solidified that more for us....

We had decided that when Raleigh was 2 we would look more into adoption & growing our family. We had it all figured out. Don't you love it when you think you have everything figured out? :) ha!

We rarely go to church on Wednesday nights... mainly b/c it's so hard to get back home in time to get our kids bathed and in bed on time. But, we were there one night. The adult class was watching a video series from Craig Groeschel & he said something I knew God meant for us to hear.

"When you know that the Lord has told you to do something and you don't do it right then --- that's called delayed disobedience & that is a SIN. When you know that the Lord has told you to do something and you ignore it --- that's direct disobedience & that is a SIN"

Later, after kids were in bed that night, we both talked about how that came to us like a slap in the face. The very next day, I had lunch with a few of my favorite girlfriends --- Amy (with the 4 children that I was just talking about), Angie (our friend that is a social worker) & Ashley (one of my dearest friends, also adopted). During lunch Angie told us about a young girl that wanted to have an abortion, but she knew that she could talk to her and have her keep the baby if she knew it would have a home & how it was just breaking her heart.

Guess when the baby was due?

in July.

Shortly after Raleigh was TWO.

I knew what God was saying. I heard him. I called George immediately after I got in my van... and he knew too. It was just something that we knew we were supposed to do.

We called Angie & she talked to the young girl... Who agreed to carry the baby to term.

WE WERE SO EXCITED --- and we began to make plans for the arrival of "Baby July".

Sadly - at the hands of an abusive boyfriend, she miscarried in Mid January. 

heartbroken? confused? mad? YES - I was ALL of those things. On lots of different levels. 

I still don't completely understand why everything happened the way that it did there.  I doubt I ever will. The whole situation was just so sad. My friends were an awesome support system... this sweet facebook message from a friend helped me more than I am sure she knows. I can't even tell you how many times I've read it:

"What a joyous day it will be when we get to meet baby July in heaven. I believe that July was made for your family and when you all meet in heaven, it will be like you've known each other forever."

BUT - even in all the sadness, there was a peace that I had. I knew God's hand was on it. I knew he was there. Even if I was confused and upset with him - he never left.  

During that time, I did alot of praying and soul searching --- even a little second guessing if this was really God's plan, or mine? Sometimes he screams & sometimes He softly whispers, that's all I can say about that. I've never been more sure about God's plan before than I am about this ---

So here we are.. round two.

We've done our orientation classes.

We've filled out lots of papers.

We've done our first home study (and passed - woot!!)

and now we are waiting to go to our next training class at the beginning of June.

So - there you have it. Our big news!

To read more about this blog & us, check out the tabs at the top of the page (under where it says "A day on the Beach")

Hopefully, I'll update this blog often enough to answer any questions you might have. There's alot I want to say & share with you.

Never in our lives have we had to lean on God more than we are right now -- it's a crazy to thing to have zero control over a situtation and to trust the Lord completely, whether you like it or not.

If I know some of you, you are going to ask what you can do for us ---

During this time, more than anything, we ask for your prayers. Prayers for peace of mind & prayers for this sweet child that the Lord is sending us.