To tell the truth, I've been hesitant about starting a blog about this journey for a while. I've literally thought about it for months - weighing pros and cons, trying to decide whether I should or not. Here was my list:
- I want to be able to tell this story - as it's happening. As we're living it --- ALL of it, the good/bad/happy/sad & I know that if we just tell it as we remember it years from now, so many of the things that we're feeling will get lost in the time lapse.
- I want to tell what the Lord is doing in our lives, through this process. I've gone to church my WHOLE life. My Dad was a preacher. I've had nothing but Godly examples to look up to --- & I have NEVER heard the Lord speak directly to me like this before. ever. I KNOW that this is his plan for our lives -- and I want other people to know that, too.
- We're going a route that a lot of people don't choose to take - but, my fear is that they don't take this route of a local DFCS adoption b/c they DON'T KNOW that they can! In fact, often when I mention that we are doing an adoption the DFCS - it never fails, people always tell me that they didn't even know that was an option. So - hopefully, this blog will bring more light to this.
- I don't want to hear the critisim. I just don't deal well with it. I know that is a weakess that I need to get over- God & I are tryin' to work it out, but we're just not there yet.
- I don't want anyone to think we're doing this for the wrong reason --- to be showy, or to glorify ourselves. That isn't it AT ALL.
As you can see - the pros outweigh the cons. The cons are just my own insecurities. But, those cons... those are big deals to me. I've spent a lot of time trying to push those thoughts out of my mind, but they're there. Definitely there. Even as I type this, my heart is racing worrying about what people will think. I know the Lord says about opposition & I'm clinging to that!